Pastor, Red Rocks Baptist Church

Message title: “Hope in the midst of Heartache”

Intro: Could you cut off your own leg? It is primarily a question of courage. A CO fly fisherman did it (Bill Geracke). You can endure tremendous adversity if you have hope.

Job had it all and lost it: 10 kids, great holdings of livestock, tremendous wealth and security; but adversity struck. Terrorists stole, or calamity destroyed, everything he had. Then he lost his health. Profound statement of faith & hope (the earliest in the Bible?), viz., 19.25-27:

25  For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth:

26  And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God:

27  Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me.

3 realities from these verses:

1. JOB’S CONVICTION, v. 25 – I know there is a living Savior

1. 1. A conviction of that redeemer
   2. A personal relationship with that redeemer,

God uses circumstances to get our attention and say “Look at ME.”

Testimony: toughest year in LH’s 25 yrs at the church: 4 criminal investigations, 3 went to trial; 8x in local news, etc.

1 Pet 1.19

2. JOB’S REALIZATION, v. 26 –I know this is a decaying body

“And though after my skin worms destroy this body…” (I’m scraping myself and filleting myself, like a fish!)

App.—our bodies are wearing out

Ill.—LH grew up on a dairy farm, one of 9 children in an RCC family. Mother is 90 yrs of age.Visiting mother in MI who had Alzheimer’s.

2 Cor 5.1-4

Rom 8.

Phil. 3.20-21

3. JOB’S ANTICIPATION, v. 27 –I know there is a waiting glory

“Don’t doubt in the darkness of your trial what you have learned in the light of God’s word.”

v. 26, “ye tin my flesh shall I see God”

App.—look at your struggles thorugh the lens of God’s word

Jn 11-25-26 “…he that believeth in me, though he were dead…”

Ill.—kids in LH’s boyhood school who received rocks they picked out of the field out of a rock tumbler—they looked like jewels. God is doing the same in our lives through the trials we are experiencing.

Summary

In The Complete Husband, Lou Priolo seeks to explain all the New Testament commands given to husbands.[1] Priolo, an experienced professional counselor admitting to much indebtedness to author and counselor Jay Adams,[2] has produced a useful book for either personal or group study and a good resource for pastors and counselors.

The Complete Husband has fourteen chapters that can be summarized in three parts: Knowing Your Wife (chapters 1-4); Loving Your Wife (chapters 4-10); and Leading Your Wife (chapters 11-14).

Beginning with Peter’s command for husbands to dwell with their wives “according to knowledge” (I Peter 3.7), Priolo contends that it is the husband’s responsibility to draw out of his wife’s heart the “owner’s manual” for understanding her well—and then to make written notes as needed on what he learns.[3] Using God’s personal revelation to man as a model, [4] Priolo calls for transparency by the husband, that he may elicit the same from his wife. He cautions husbands against hindrances of fear, selfishness, pride, laziness, and ignorance.[5] It will be a lifelong study, in which the subject will vary like a river’s path, but greater unity and intimacy will result. In chapter 3 he suggests many topics of spousal communication; then in chapter 4 develops five lessons drawn from scripture on how to become a more effective communicator.

Upon this foundation the author next develops the central Pauline command to husbands, “Love your wife as Christ also loved the church” (Eph. 5.25). He first constructs a biblical definition of love in pp. 87-90, viz.: “giving others what they need without having some temporal reward as the primary motive.”[6] He asserts then, that the opposite of biblical love is not hate, but selfishness.[7] Loving one’s wife also means knowing how to solve problems biblically–by exercising forgiveness (chapter 6) and resolving conflicts (chapter 7). This chapter also carefully applies peacemaking principles from Romans 12.17-21 to the marital relationship. Love also means endeavoring to please your wife, Priolo argues in chapter 8 (based on 1 Cor. 7.33), which essentially is continuing to court her. The complete husband also lovingly leads his wife in sanctification (chapter 9), and unselfishly meets her needs in the physical relationship (chapter 10).

The last four chapters are generally built upon the concept of a husband leading his wife as her spiritual head. This involves protecting her as the weaker vessel[8] from dangerous things (he lists numerous potential hazards).[9] Noting also that Peter says that she is to be honored, he offers several attitudes that will build her esteem properly.[10] He explores the ramifications of biblical headship in chapter 13, summarizing it as “servant leadership.”[11] He warns against the proclivity of fallen womanhood to try to control their husbands.[12] The final chapter encourages the reader who encounters difficulty to endure, have patience, and wait for future grace.

The appendices begin with a gospel presentation, and then offer many practical helps in communication, leadership, and marital harmony.

Critique

Without question, the book’s greatest strength is its unapologetic reliance upon Scripture to address the problems husbands face. An experienced[13] nouthetic counselor,[14] Priolo is clearly convinced of 2 Timothy 3.16-17, that the scripture is the means by which the man of God is made complete. His own statement is that it is “a reference book of practical theology… a workbook designed to train Christian husbands how to implement specific biblical commands.”[15]

The author shows theological training in discussing concepts of “countenance” (p. 64), forgiveness (74), and a biblical definition of love (pp. 85-90).

The work has a gospel center, believing that real biblical counsel cannot begin without the gospel being believed by both counselor and counselee. Priolo does not let the reader go beyond his Introduction before raising this issue. [16] Further gospel appeals are made in chapters 5 and 14.

Another strength of the book is the author’s sometimes surprising transparency in illustrating points, such as his admission in chapter 3 that he had just had a conflict with his wife in which he had disobeyed the very things he planned to write about in that section![17] Later, he recounts overcoming anger against his wife as he applies the principle of overcoming evil with good.[18]

The book teaches well, often summing up prior lessons to build upon.[19] It also counsels well, sometimes using the dialectic method of question and answer,[20] which helps to defuse the critical reader somewhat while drawing him into the conversation. It has some humor sprinkled within, such as the author’s discussion of the influence of Midwestern and Southern dialects on his native New York accent.[21] It defines terms well and practically, and shows appropriate restraint and dignity in discussing sexual relations in marriage.[22] Though it appears he is a conservative evangelical, it is interesting that Priolo warns against what he calls “dangerous music,” noting that “even some of today’s so-called Christian music is filled with weak (if not heretical) theology.”[23]

There are a few minor weaknesses. The author may have relied upon Adams and his works too heavily.[24] For example, he says in chapter 7 that “virtually everything I’ve written in this chapter I’ve ‘learned and received and heard’ from my friend and mentor (and fishing buddy), Dr. Jay E. Adams.”[25]

More significant was his assertion that the right way to deal with an angry response to a situation is to “by the Holy Spirit, release the anger toward the problem.”[26] The scripture cited in this connection, 1 Peter 4.11, really has no bearing on the issue.

Chapter 8, which is based on 1 Cor. 7.33 (“But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife”), is the weakest in the book in that the verse is given imperative weight it was never meant to support. Nonetheless, these weaknesses are minor compared to the overall value of the book.

Benefits for Counseling Others

I found the book personally beneficial. Since so much of my counsel is based on what I have personally learned, permit me to be more personal here. I was initially skeptical of the book, feeling that the author was arrogant. He warned readers that the book might make us angry,[27] and to a certain degree, he was right in my case. Nonetheless, I tried to interact in good faith with the book, including the assignments at the end of chapters. I worked through these personally and then with my wife. I also am aware that my marriage, while generally quite happy, can be improved, as I am still far from the ideal of The Complete Husband!

The interviews I conducted with my wife produced some beneficial results. First, I was encouraged to find that in some areas she did not view me to be quite as deficient as I thought she would. Perhaps she was just being kind or I caught her on a good day, but I often graded myself a bit lower than she did. Happily, love covers a multitude of sins.

Second, it forced conversation between us on topics that are hard to discuss and outside our usual conversation patterns. While these conversations were sometimes painful (especially for me!), my wife appreciated my submission to evaluation for improvement in areas that perhaps she had come to expect little change in after twenty years of marriage.

Third, I was encouraged to continue with more purpose in discipling and encouraging my wife in her walk with the Lord. While she is a godly lady, the reminders and encouragements in Chapter Nine strengthened my resolve to be a good example to her and do more to encourage her spiritual growth. I agree with R. C. Sproul’s statement, “Her sanctification is his responsibility.”[28]

Priolo’s applications of Ephesians 5.23, “he is the savior of the body,” were wide-ranging and I guessed that I might have some resistance from my wife in a few of the areas he listed.[29] To my surprise, my wife embraced my willingness to be her protector in all of these areas, with no offense.

So, even hardheaded men like me can be helped as they read this book. Given to prospective grooms in the premarital context, it will give an idea of the breadth of responsibility the young man is signing up for.

Chapter 4, “A Crash Course on Biblical Communication,” featured five lessons to become a more effective communicator. These were valuable enough that I have shared them with my prayer meeting group over three Wednesdays. I can see these used again in marriage counseling and a number of other ways.

Some of the appendices have already been helpful. A couple I counseled and married recently came back for a follow-up session, and the husband remarked that he wished I had provided more resources as something of an emergency toolkit for specific situations in marriage. Initially I was at a loss to reply; however, I found shortly afterward that appendices B-G[30] addressed just the things to what he was asking about, and I was grateful to be able to provide these for him.

The Complete Husband is a solid resource on Christian living and marriage.

[2] Ibid., 134.

[3] Ibid., 15.

[4] Ibid., 18ff.

[5] Ibid., 19-24.

[6] Ibid., 90.

[7] Ibid., 90.

[8] Ibid., 184.

[9] Ibid., 187-200.

[10] Ibid., 207-11.

[11] Ibid., 225.

[12] Ibid., 219-221.

[13] Ibid., 294. The biographical sketch says, “Lou has been a full-time biblical counselor and instructor for over fourteen years.”

[14] Ibid, 66. He begins his sentence, “We nouthetic counselors like to relate this story….” Also on p. 294 he is credentialed as a Fellow of the National Association of Nouthetic Counselors (NANC).

[15] Ibid..

[16] Ibid., 11.

[17] Ibid., 49.

[18] Ibid., 123-25.

[19] For example, see p. 207.

[20] For example, see how he hammers out a biblical definition of love with this method in pages 87-90.

[21] Ibid., 184-86.

[22] See Chapter 10.

[23] Ibid., 197-98.

[24] See paragraph quote on 107.

[25] Ibid., 134 and first endnote, 139.

[26] (p. 69, illustration caption).

[27] Ibid., 11.

[28] Ibid., 155.

[29] Ibid., 186-200.

[30] Ibid., 247-281. The appendices include “Guidelines for Asking Questions of Your Wife;” “Common Ways in Which Husbands Sin Against Their Wives;” “Specific Ways to Demonstrate Love to Your Wife;” “How to Instruct Your Wife in Gentleness;” “Guidelines for Giving Directives to Your Wife;” and “Things to Say to Defuse an Argument with Your Wife.” Other topics dealt with are “Righteous Anger Vs. Sinful Anger;” “Hints, Suggestions, and Attitude Helpers About Sex;” and “Sorting Our Responsibilities.”



I have a theory that I’ve clicked “Hide” on Mafia wars, Farmville, Singles ads, and the like just one too many times, and now I’ve been blacklisted by the Facebook elite…

Or do you think it’s something else?

Below are downloadable Powerpoint videos of Erik’s performance of the Widor Toccata from Symphony No. 5, and Erin’s Impromptu-Caprice by Gabriel Pierné.

Erik Hansen Widor Toccata AACS 2010

Erin Hansen Pierne Impromptu-Caprice AACS 2010

My wife Robin came home from a Christian speakers conference yesterday and told me about a discussion they had. John 5 was the passage under discussion, and when they arrived at v 4, to their surprise it wasn’t there. I guess it caused quite a stir. Someone found it in the NASB, but nowhere else. (I guess no one had the KJV).

This happens in several occasions in the Bible. There are even verse references “missing” in the KJV. What is going on? Well, either someone left the verse out, or somewhere along the line someone added a verse in. But who ever assigned the verse references, he had v 4.

This is a pretty big issue, and a simple blog can’t do it justice. It can also degenerate into a pretty ugly discussion; many of the people involved in the discussion don’t know much Greek (if any), and in the worst case scenarios the discussion is reduced to a matter of salvation. “If you don’t believe what I believe about the text of the Bible, you aren’t a Christian.” Let’s see if we can steer clear of this type of ungodliness.

This is the basic question of the Greek text, and the technical name for it is “text criticism.” (I am going to stick with the Greek Testament, not the Hebrew.) Here is the basic reconstruction.

1. The writers wrote their gospels and epistles and sent them to their churches.

2. These documents were copied so they could be shared. In the process of copying, changes were introduced. (By the way, this is not academic conjecture; we have these different manuscripts and can see the differences for themselves.)

Some changes were accidental but others appeared to be intentional, but not always for nefarious reasons. It is often to add an explanation, or substitute an easier word to understand, or to harmonize the gospels, etc.

In John 5:4, most believe that a scribe (the person doing the copying) thought it was puzzling why the man would lie there for 38 years. Perhaps he knew a tradition that said the angel periodically came down to stir up the waters and the first person in was healed, and so he added in the verse. (Others would argue that for some reason the verse was dropped off.)

3. As time progressed (and as we can tell from archaeology), biblical manuscripts were collected in five different geographical areas. Since the center of the church was in Rome, this area had the greatest number of copies.

4. Erasmus (1500s) created a Greek text based on two manuscripts from the 12th century (Matthew through Jude) and another 12th century manuscript for all but the last 6 verses of Revelation. He went from the Latin back into Greek to get those last 6. His work became the basis of the King James translation.

5. 150 years ago we started digging up new manuscripts that were in fact must older (by centuries). They came from a different geographical area than the majority of the texts we currently had, and they were different in places. For example, they did not have John 5:4.

And so the science of textual criticism was born, which is the science of determining which of the different “readings” is most likely original.

The general preference is to see scribes as adding verses, not removing them. For that reason, and others, most feel that John 5:4 was added after the fact; there is no good reason why it would have been omitted.

But God in his sovereign love made sure that the differences among the manuscripts would not hinder our faith.

• About 5% of the Greek text is in question

• No major doctrine is brought into question by that 5%.

You can trust your Bible!

HT: http://www.koinoniablog.net/

Dr. Williams also had a session with the sponsors, in which he shared 7 principles of leadership taught by the Lord. Here are my notes on them:

1. Leadership is servanthood (Mt 23.10-12; 20.25-28; Mk 10.42-45; 9.35 et. al). Christ knew his position and was willing not to flaunt it; he knew his calling and was willing to be faithful to it; he knew his future and was willing to submit to it.  Insecure people put self first; secure people put others first.

2. Let your perpective prioritize your life (Mt 6.33). Christ dealt successfully with distractions. He wisely responded to personal rejection. He willingly suffered pain. See Phil 2.3-7; Rom 8.29.

3. Live the life before you try to lead others. Be different on purpose (Mt 5.16). Jesus never strove to look good; he simply was good. He did not labor to appear truthful; He was truthful. He did not struggle to have a good reputation; He had character.

4. Walk slowly through the crowd (Mt 9.36-38; Jn 8.1-11). Note in the Matthew reference, Jesus was “moved with compassion;” thus we need to be sensitive to the needs of others. There are great needs in our society today. Attending the conference was a leader of an inner city ministry who found among 125 kids he works with that only one of them lives with his biological parents.

5. Show security and strength at all times. Mk 1.35. Most great lessons come quietly with Him, not with a crowd. Your exit will be remembered longer than your entry!

6. Jesus led on a higher level.

7. Jesus knew that there is no success without a successor. Quoting Dr. Les Ollila, the chancellor of Northland University (where Williams serves now as Vice President), every person needs a Paul (to learn from); a Pal (a spiritual friend other than your spouse); and a Project (someone to win, disciple, and mentor).

Thanks, Dr. Williams, for these valuable thoughts on ministry.

Love of the world. Tell some of adding faith to faith, one degree of grace to another, and you shall find they have more mind to join house to house, and lay field to field; their souls are athirst, but not for Christ or heaven: it is earth, earth, they never think they have enough of, till death comes and stops their mouth with a shovelful digged out of their own grave!

Enjoy your weekend and have a blessed Lord’s Day and Father’s Day.